Friday, October 23, 2009

I don't know what to do

Dear Via,

I personally think human is a complicated being, and I think most people would agree with me.
We tend to think that what we can not prove does not exist.
I used to be like that.
Now I don't.
The problem is, now since I started to think everything is possible, EVERYTHING seems possible.
It exists, but it's just not happening to me.

To put this aside as only a simple day-dreaming of a 15-year old girl, it is haunting me too much.

All these (what most people would call)crazy imagination keeps on popping up in my head, and I gets my hopes up on something that other people would say 'impossible'.

What if there really is people with supernatural powers?
What if there actually is after life?
What if there aren't only one God?
We can't be so sure that the Bible is 100% correct-although some of the principles they mention is quite touching.
What if?
What if...

And off till eternity.
This sort of thinking does not only follow me when I'm awake.
At night, in my dream, all the questios and imaginations(if they really are imaginations)I had, comes into life.
I can't sleep, because I have too much stuff inside my head.
I can think, and actually hear my thoughts as we do when we are wide awake, while sleeping.
It's like having several eyes and only half of them sleeping at one time.

It's stressing me.
The problem is that I can't get back to life.
The major problems are this:
1. I can't focus during class.
- I either loose focus, or get too sleepy to stay conscious.
2. I become mentaly tired.
- This is due to lack of dreamless sleep.It also somewhat leads to number one.
3. Losing the will to do anything.
- I feel like a pudding =ㅁ=
4. I become easily irritated
- My mom scolded me 5 seconds before

and many more.

I don't know what to do....T^T

SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to this site for the picture

Saturday, October 17, 2009


Dear Via,
Music is wonderful, don't you think?
Our life can become so much beautiful with some good music.
Today, I played flute in the orchestra I go to once a week.
Today, we played as guest to a piano concert, and I think we did fairly well.
The music we played was the tango in the movie "Scent of a Women", and a song called "Between Calm and Passion".
I felt as though I was becoming hypothized by the music, in to an imaginary place such as an outer space filled with tiny, sparkling dust, or a fancy dancing hall for nobles.
I feel that music played well can effect a person's heart and emotion.
While I was waiting for my turn in today's performance, I could liston to the people who played the piano.
Of all the pieces I heard, One particular music touched me in a special way. Sadly, I do not remember the name of the music(I WILL try to find out later).
The music had a grave, and if I were to specify it as a color, grayish-brown but somewhat playful tone.
It felt as a comical tragedy to me.
It was special because I think of life as a comical tragedy.

Anyways, (I was going off-topic ;;) I believe good music played with emotions and passion into them can even make the listeners filled up with whatever the message it's appealing.

Actually, I so-tired now so I'll go sleep for now. Night!

p.s. By the way, one of the song we played was this:
Al Pachino-Scent of a Woman
here's the video

Thanks to this site for the picture

Friday, October 9, 2009


Dear Via,

It's my birthday soon, it's my birthday soon~~~
Only four days to go-and it’s my birthday~>ㅁ<♡♡
Of all the people, I’m the type who gets all excited about their birthdays even though it comes every year.
Every year, shortly before my birthday, I tell myself not to get all excited about the birthday, keep cool, and act “adult”.
Every year, I fail.
I just get so filled up with emotions by the thought of being celebrated by whole load of people!!!
…I feel blessed. = v =☆
The day I was born in to the world.
It’s Special.
Like nobody else.
Just for me.
Loads of presents…

The good part isn’t all……

Somehow, around the date of my birthday every year, all the busy schedules throughout my whole year are jammed in to this time of the year.
Somehow, when it is my birthday, at least one friend is bound to be not able to come to my birthday party.
I guess the important thing is the fact that it’s my birthday, eh?

Thanks to this site for the picture.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Time flies

Dear Via,
I am astonished at how weirdly time goes.
Every day seems like the views we see outside of the window in a fast-moving train, but when I look back on the overall week, Monday seems like a month ago.
Now, the funny thing is that a month also evaporates in to the air.
Every day I have the same cycle.
Of course, not that I despise it.
I wake up at 6:00.
I take a shower, take any clothes from my closet, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and take the bus at 7:00.
I always arrive late, so the bus picks me up last.
I sleep in the bus with my head resting on the lap of my friend, SQ (not the real name.) in the bus.
I arrive to school at 7:45.
I take classes.
Lunch at 1:45.
I take classes.
After school.
I ride the bus home at 4:30.
I eat a snack at 5:30.
I do homework.
I finish at 11’o clock.
I sleep at 11:15

I wake up at 6:00.
And so on.
Because of this cycle, I don’t have to think much throughout the day. I can move ‘on schedule.’
Sometimes this is really sad because I feel that I don’t have much human in me.
I guess this explains my reason of time slipping out of me.

I think week is long for me because I always wait for a day in the week.

Another cycle.

The easiest way of living.


Although it is often frustrating, I like my time flying cycle.


Thanks to this site for the picture.